As soon as…
….you tell your parents,
….the news is announced (either by word of mouth or on social media),
….at the baby shower (and any events related to having a baby),
….on social media as you scroll (because the algorithm has figured out that you are pregnant),
….from friends, who may (or may not) have children of their own,
….from people at work,
….from people who work at the baby store,
….from the books and articles you read,
….from the influencer moms who seem to have it all figured out,
….from the clothing stores who sell maternity sizes (that make you feel even larger than you already feel, IMO),
….at your doctor, obgyn or midwife appointments,
… the advice is always there.
Although unwelcome at most times, I choose to believe it comes from a good place. The advice is given and we, as mothers begin to question that little voice in our head, that feeling in our gut as we navigate this journey of motherhood.
You all know that feeling and voice I’m talking about. It occurs as soon as those two little lines show on a pee stick, or you get the news that your adoption process went through, or you become a mother in some way. That addition to your “being” is the ultimate guiding compass - a mothers intuition. Maybe you feel it in your belly, maybe it’s a tingling in your hands or feet, maybe it’s a little voice in your head, however it takes form for you - THAT is what I recommend you follow every single day as you choose what is best for you and your baby (or child at any age).
I remember taking a pregnancy test and reading it wrong (eye roll). I read negative. So I went about my day to day life and although I found it odd that I was late, my partner and I just concluded it was stress. But I couldn’t shake this feeling that I actually was pregnant, and perhaps yes, I read the test wrong. There was a sign in my life where I had to make a health decision and I just had this feeling that I needed to test again before making any decisions. Lo and behold, I read the test wrong the first time and we actually were pregnant. From that moment on, I knew what that feeling meant and as I started making all these decisions as a new mom to be, I knew what to follow to navigate this new venture.
Your mother’s intuition will lead you to make a wide variety of decisions from the moment you find out you’re pregnant and onwards. Before babe even arrives, there are a lot of decisions we, as moms-to-be, have to make. From making sure you’re eating the right amount of foods, the right balance of foods, avoiding red meat and alcohol, eating more leafy greens and pasteurized fluids; making sure you’re taking the right supplements, the right prenatal vitamin that is best for your body, to making sure you’re getting enough exercise and moving your body so that your cankles don’t swell until about 3 o’clock in the afternoon. From attending check ups with your OB/GYN or Midwife, asking the right questions, selecting the right options for your birth plan; to taking that disgusting glucose test to ensure that you don’t have diabetes. Then you go shopping for your babe and there are the decisions to choose the best bed for your baby, best diaper pail, best change table, receiving blankets that will not irritate your child’s potentially sensitive skin, the best pacifier (since apparently there’s four different kinds and you have to buy them all in order to figure out which one your baby will latch onto.) Then perhaps they have a tongue tie or a lip tie and you have to figure out whether you’re doing breast-feeding, you’re exclusively pumping, or you’re doing formula and the costs associated with those decisions. Perhaps you’re also a mother dealing with a medical diagnosis that has already been given and you have to go through all of the lists to ensure that your house, your nursery, your body, your lifestyle is prepared for the changes ahead. Let’s add to your decisions by choosing the right colour paint on the walls in the nursery, completing all your pre baby classes, developing a plan A, B, and C for your birth plan, and then packing your hospital bag and making sure it’s ready by the door or in the car for the big day.
Now, let’s take a deep breath together. Inhale. Pause. Exhale. Do you feel overwhelmed after reading all those decisions you have to make? I’m feeling that way just reading it back now. But in moments where you have to make decisions about yourself, your health, and your child’s life, lean into that intuition. Follow your gut. Know that if you are feeling uneasy or unsure about something, know that it might be your intuition telling you something. The advice will always be there as you travel throughout this life of motherhood, and perhaps it helps you change your perspective for the better, but my recommendation, my encouragement is to not second guess yourself once you have declared the decision you have made. The “Mom Compass” that is within all of us moms, will help lead you forward with confidence and strength in knowing you are making the right decision that is right for you. You got this, mama.
There are lots of scholarly articles that discuss the validity of a mother’s intuition that I will discuss further in Part 2.
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